Preserved Wax Replica of Patrick Lim of Cebu Mini Velo Clubbe
Via: Cebu Mini Velo Clubbe

Ninja Magnets - Black
Throw out all the pizza, Thai and dry cleaner magnets cluttering your fridge and replace them with magnets worthy of a ninja. Each black plastic shuriken will keep your important papers exactly where they belong - stuck to the fridge. Since all our favorite things come in pairs, this package includes 2 shurikens for you to hone your ninja skills with.
Via: coolmaterial
Miniature Weaponry
These mini-guns were manufactured by Alexander Perfiliev. He spent 30 years manufacturing miniature replicas of real guns and is pretty good at it!
via: Eijoo

HILARIOUS - Wonder if These are True…
IF you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that’s more like it !)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet…
(O.M.G.!)
A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I’m still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don’t try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body.
The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off..
(Honey, I’m home. What the…?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes.. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm……)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat’s urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain…….
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.
In other words, send it to everyone !
(& do I love that pig!)
via: funzu
“Sir, you are not allowed to say the word “FUCK YOU”! We are on recorded line…” - Eijoo Canin on Manuals on Handling Calls
“Fuck off.” - Pierre Elliott Trudeau,
Any of you fuckin’ pricks move, and I’ll execute every mother fuckin’ last one of ya. - Honey Bunny
“Fuck off.” It’s such a lovely pair of words! And it’s international. I don’t care where you are - if somebody’s fuckin’ with your bags in Lhasa Airport in Tibet and he’s got a shaven head and saffron clothes on and you say “hey, fuck off!”, he knows *exactly* what you mean. Exact - he will fuck off. Off he will fuck! ‘Fuck off’ doesn’t mean ‘go away.’ ‘Fuck off’ means ‘fuck… *off.*’ And everybody feels what it means, nobody can write it down. There is no English equivalent for ‘fuck off,’ because… it *is* English, ‘fuck off.’ You know? And English expressions don’t have English equivalents, they fuckin’ *are*, ya know? - Billy Connolly [laughs]
“Because you know if you play New Kids on the Block albums backwards they sound better. “Oh come on, Bill, they’re the New Kids, don’t pick on them, they’re so good and they’re so clean cut and they’re such a good image for the children.” Fuck that! When did mediocrity and banality become a good image for your children? I want my children to listen to people who fucking ROCKED! I don’t care if they died in puddles of their own vomit! I want someone who plays from his fucking HEART!” - Bill Hicks
“I’m going to do damage with it. I’ll make sure that my work gets out. That no publisher will ever be able to tell me to take things out. Because I’ll put it out myself. The more money I earn, the less they can stop me. Where I come from it’s called fuck you money because I don’t have to take an ounce of shit from anybody.” - Michael Moore
“I’m also tired of hearing about innocent victims; this is an outmoded idea. There are no innocent victims. If you’re born on this world you’re guilt, period, f*ck you, end of report, next case. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.” - George Carlin
“That’s the whole trouble. You can’t ever find a place that’s nice and peaceful, because there isn’t any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you’re not looking, somebody’ll sneak up and write “Fuck you” right under your nose.” - J. D. Salinger
“Most men are the same. They’re only interested in fucking you and they don’t care whether you’re happy or sad. They just want to get on with their business in and out of bed, and they make you feel that you don’t count except as their sex toy.” - Cameron Diaz
“It’s all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy.” - D.H. Lawrence
“Half of life is fucking up the other half is dealing with it.” - Henry Rollins
“Fucking ignore the system, use it when it suits you.” - Johnny Rotten
“If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ‘em!” - John Waters
“in this land some of us fuck more than we die but most of us die better than we fuck” - Charles Bukowski
“If you can’t say Fuck, you can’t say, Fuck the government.” - Lenny Bruce
“what kind of fuckery is this?” - Amy Winehouse
“The earth makes a sound as of sighs and the last drops fall from the emptied cloudless sky. A small boy, stretching out his hands and looking up at the blue sky, asked his mother how such a thing was possible. Fuck off, she said.” - Samuel Beckett
“I don’t fuck much with the past but I fuck plenty with the future.” - Patti Smith
“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn” - Orson Welles
“The zipless fuck is absolutely pure. It is free of ulterior motives. There is no power game . The man is not “taking” and the woman is not “giving.” No one is attempting to cuckold a husband or humiliate a wife. No one is trying to prove anything or get anything out of anyone. The zipless fuck is the purest thing there is. And it is rarer than the unicorn. And I have never had one.” - Erica Jong
via: Eijoo
The Fucking Disclaimer
If you are offended by the use of bad language fuck off now! Don’t read all of this page and then say it annoys you.
Uses of the word Fuck
FUCK is an international word. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, everyone knows exactly what you mean when you say “Fuck Off”.
It’s the atmosphere it creates, that’s why you will never read something like:
“Fuck off”, he hinted.
Grammatical Usage
In language, “fuck” falls into many grammatical categories, making it one of the most versatile words in the English language.
It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Jane) and intransitive (John and Jane fucked). It can be an active verb (John fucked Jane) or a passive verb (Jane was fucked by John). Or an adverb (Jane is a fucking bastard) and a noun (Jane is a terrific fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Jane is fucking beautiful). It may also be inserted into other words (abso-fucking-lutely).
Further Structures
As you can see there are few words with the versatility of “fuck”. Besides its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations.
Greetings - “How the fuck are you?”
Fraud - “I was fucked by the McDonalds Drive Through.”
Dismay - “Oh, fuck it.”
Trouble - “Well, I guess I’m fucked again.”
Aggression - “Fuck you!!!”
Disgust - “Fuck me!!!”
Confusion, Curiosity or Disbelief - “What the fuck….?”
Difficulty - “I don’t understand this fucking thing.”
Despair - “Fucked again.”
Good Job - “Congratufuckinglations.”
Desperation - “Fuckityfuckfuckfuck.”
Incompetence - “He fucks up everything.”
Disappointment - “This fucking fucker is fucked.”
Intelligence - “He’s a fucking genius.”
Dismissal - “Why don’t you go outside and play hide-and-go-fuck-yourself?”
Displeasure - “What the fuck is going on?”
Lost - “Where the fuck are we?”
Disbelief - “Unbefuckinglievable!!!”
Retaliation - “Up your fucking ass!!!”
Laziness - “He’s just a fuck-off.”
Pain - “Fuck ! that hurt.”
Pleasure - “Oooooooh Fuuuuuuck”
Love - “Do ya Fuck on first dates?”
Starting a relationship - “Let’s fuck now!”
Surprise - “Fucking hell what was that?”
Admiration - “Nice fucking tits!”
Stupid person - “Dumbfuck!”
Hate - “You Fuck!”
Condemnation - “Fuck that shit!”
Disappointment - “That’s not fucking fair.”
A poker hand -“A Royal Fuck.”
Ignorant person - “Fuckstick.”
Denial - “I didn’t fucking do it.”
Perplexity - “I know fuck all about it.”
Apathy - “Who gives a fuck” or “I don’t give a fuck”.
Confusion - “What the fuck just happened?”
Resignation - “Oh fuck it.”
Suspicion - “Who the fuck are you?”
Panic - “Let’s get the fuck out of here!”
Directions -“Fuck off.”
Sex - “Let’s fuck.”
Maternal - “Motherfucker.”
Incestuous - “Motherfucker.”
Ambiguity - “I’m not so fucking sure.”
Agreement - “Absofuckinglutely.”
Questioning Authority - “Who the fuck do you think you are?”
Hypocrisy - “Don’t you dare fucking swear at me you fucking fucker.”
Praising the Lord - “Jesus Fucking Christ.”
I have a headache - “Go fuck yourself.”
Refusal - “Oh you can fuck right off.”
Pissed off - “Fuck the fucking fuckers!”
Be quiet - “Shut the fuck up.”
You’re right - “Fucking oath.” (Australianism)
Ostentation - “He’s just bought a big, fuck-off Mercedes.”
Sensuousness - “She was wearing a pair of red leather, fuck-me boots.”
Confidence - “Fuckin’ A.”
Rage - “Motherfucking fuckers!”
Impressed - “That was fucking amazing.”
Oral sex after 30 years of marriage - “Fuck you!” (while passing each other in the hall)
Bewilderment or Ignorance - “Fucked if I know.”
Enraged - “I’m gonna fuck you up!”
Annoyance - “Fuck off, fucker.”
Annoyance -“For fuck’s sake.”
Pissed off - “Fuck you, you fucking fuck.”
Tardiness - “It’s ten-fucking-thirty already?”
Broken down motorcycle - “Sir, the fucking fucker has fucked up on me.
Professional appraisal of mechanical failure - “It’s fucked.”
Calling someone - “Oy, fuck face!”
Minors - “Fucklings.”
Morons -“Fucktards.”
Completely naked - Butthefucknaked
Low intelligence - Fuckwit
A name for the penis - Fuckstick (as in “I’m going to jam my fuckstick right up you”)
Thanks - “Fuck you very much.”
Useful Acronymns
These may come in handy when space is at a premium.
DILLIGAF - Does It Look Like I Give A Fuck
FA - Fuck All
FFS - For Fuck’s Sake
FIIK - Fucked If I Know
FOAD - Fuck Off And Die
FUBAR - Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition
FYYFF - Fuck You You Fucking Fucker
GAGF - Go And Get Fucked
GFY - Go Fuck Yourself
GTFO - Get The Fuck Out
HMFIC - Head Mother Fucker In Charge
JFGI - Just Fucking Google It
LMFAO - Laughed My Fucking Ass Off
MILF - Mum (Mom) I’d Like To Fuck
NFI - No Fucking Idea
NMFP - Not My Fucking Problem
RTFM - Read The Fucking Manual
SNAFU - Situation Normal All Fucked Up
WOFTAM - Waste of Fucking Time and Money
WTF - What The Fuck
Sweet FA also deserves a special mention (Sweet Fuck All), meaning “nothing”. Another abbreviation is F’ed in the A for (Fucked in the Ass), presumably meaning “taken advantage of” rather than literally shagged in the poophole.
Famous historical quotes
Never forget the words of these famous people.
General Custer Where did all them fucking Indians come from?
Mayor of Hiroshima “What the fuck was that?”
Captain of the Titanic “Where’s all the fucking water coming from?”
Michelangelo “You want me to paint what on the fucking ceiling?”
Einstein “Any fucker could understand that.”
Sean Penn “Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck”
John Lennon “Is that a real fucking gun?”
Donald Campbell “The fucking throttle is stuck.”
Anne Boleyn “Heads are going to fucking roll.”
Richard Nixon “Who’s going to fucking know?”
Niki Lauda “I thought I could fucking smell petrol.”
Mark Thatcher “What fucking map?”
Picasso “It does fucking look like her.”
Christopher Columbus “Where the fuck are we?”
Michael Jackson “It’s a fucking skin condition”
and more recently “I told you I didn’t fucking fuck him!”
Pythagoras “How the fuck did you work that one out?”
Walt Disney “Fuck a duck.”
Joan of Arc “I don’t suppose it will fucking rain.”
George Bush “Fcuk! I can’t spell.”
Miss Marples “I haven’t got a fucking clue.”
Noah “Scattered showers, my fucking arse.”
Donald Trump “You’re fucking fired!”
Judge Judy “Shut the fuck up!”
Paris Hilton “Fuck me.”
Ronald Regan to the Pope “Yes it does fucking hurt.”
Harold, Battle of Hastings 1066 “Watch him he’ll have some fucker’s eye out”
John F Kennedy “Who needs that fucking bubble top?”
John F Kennedy “I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in the head.”
John F Kennedy Jr. “What’s wrong with this fucking altimeter?”
Bill Clinton “I should have fucked her.”
Bill Clinton “I didn’t fucking inhale!”
Hurricane Katrina “Mardi Fuckin Gras this motherfuckers.”
Leonardo da Vinci “Call that a fucking smile?”
Sir Walter Raleigh “That’s another good cloak fucked!”
William Tell “Keep Fucking Still.”
Some readers have pointed out that there are also some real famous fuck quotes from historical figures, such as General George Patton who among other things is noted to have said:
“I don’t give a fuck for a man who’s not always on his toes.”
“The bilious bastards who write that kind of stuff for the Saturday Evening Post don’t know any more about real fighting under fire than they know about fucking!”
“We’re going to murder those lousy Hun cock suckers by the bushel-fucking-basket.”
Australia’s Kerry Packer (for a time Australia’s richest man; died late 2005) was also very fond of the word “fuck”. Perhaps his best remembered quote followed the first time he died in 1990, after suffering a heart attack and being clinically dead for some eight minutes before being revived. When asked if he saw a light at the end of a tunnel he said: “Son, there’s fucking nothing there.”
Australia’s former Prime Minister Malcolm Fraser is believed to have said “Life wasn’t meant to be fucking easy”.
Mark Latham, another Australian politician had this to say about Prime Minister John Howard’s trip to the U.S.A.: “Howard is an arse-licker. He went over there, kissed some bums, and got patted on the fucking head.”
Dorothy Parker is said to have sent a telegraph in reply to her editor - who was bugging her for belated work while on her honeymoon - that read: “Too fucking busy, and vice versa”
Conclusion
The mind boggles at the many creative uses of the word. If by any chance you think I’ve missed any, please fucking let me know.
How can anyone be offended when you say “FUCK”?
Use it frequently in your daily speech, you will be proud and it will add to your fucking prestige and stature.
Why not say “FUCK YOU !” to someone today.
© Original content is Copyright
1992-2011 Eijoo. Personal use permitted.
Naughty Nature: Twin Tomato
Do not use Your imagination! All these are just a nature things, I mean things from nature… Never mind… Enjoy.
via: worldoddities
Naughty Nature: Tree
Do not use Your imagination! All these are just a nature things, I mean things from nature… Never mind… Enjoy.
via: worldoddities
Long Distance
in Humor (1680 X 1050 , 357.0
Description: Long Distance free desktop wallpaper
PC: To set this image as your desktop wallpaper, right click on the image, select “Set as Wallpaper”, or “Set as Background” from the menu;
Mac: Save the image and use the control panel to set the picture as wallpaper.
Rescue Rehearsal
in Humor (1280 X 1024 , 220.27K)
Description: Rescue Rehearsal free desktop wallpapers
PC: To set this image as your desktop wallpaper, right click on the image, select “Set as Wallpaper”, or “Set as Background” from the menu;
Mac: Save the image and use the control panel to set the picture as wallpaper.